Running for my Life

I started running seriously at the age of twenty-five while living the bohemian life in Richmond, Virginia. I’d been on the track team in High School but had gotten away from running and working out all together in the years that followed. In Richmond, after years of abusing my body with some seriously hard partying, I felt the need to get back in shape. Running was the easiest way for me to accomplish that goal and one other; Since I had no car and almost everything that I needed could be found within a two mile radius of where I lived in the ‘Fan District’, running allowed me to get to my destinations faster than walking. I would strap on a backpack and take off from my apartment running to the grocery, book or record store or often, when I couldn’t get a ride, even to the restaurant where I worked as a waiter. There are bars practically on every corner in the Fan District and, somewhat ironically, I would often run over to meet friends for drinks. Instead of running home from these particular trips I would more often than not stagger.

Running got me back in shape then and keeps me in shape to this day. It’s a great workout and the one that I truly enjoy. Even now, in my late 40’s, as my knees begin to cause me problems from all the pounding they’ve taken over the years, I continue to run – though the distance tends to be much shorter and the runs less frequent.
Running has also been a muse for my art. Nothing sparks my creativity more than a good run. When I jog ideas flow from my mind as if from a faucet turned on full. I needn’t be focused on any one specific thought to get my imagination going, images for paintings simply appear as do titles and themes and even poetry. Often I would arrive back home from a run and immediately seek out notebook and pen to write down the ideas before I'd forget.

I got Lisa into running before we were married and in the years before Elly was born we would often run together. Even when running with her and conversing while doing so my mind would still produce images and ideas. Many times I would excitedly discuss these creative thoughts with her while we ran. She and I have experienced great adventures running together; on back roads through the mountains of western North Carolina, along the beaches of the Outer Banks, on Military Bases from Mississippi to New York. After we’d lived in Charlotte for a few years we began to enter local races just for the fun. We still, when not out of town spending the Holiday with relatives, enjoy running South Charlotte’s Annual Thanksgiving Turkey Trot.
I took pride at being able, in my thirties to mid-forties, to take off for a quick 2 to 3 mile run at any given time, evening runs being my favorite. I have run religiously, almost every other day, for over 20 years now. I also began lifting weights while in the Air Force and have kept that up now into these middle age years. On the days I don’t run I usually lift, using the makeshift gym that I have now set up in my garage but managed to always find a place for no matter where we lived. Working out has helped to keep my mind alert and provided my body with the energy, (helped along by the half a pot of coffee I drink daily), to pursue a career as a painter even while holding down full-time jobs and maintaining the obligations and responsibilities of a married man living in the suburbs.

Running has been my outlet, my escape, and my shield against the encroachment of old age. Running has kept me feeling more than alive both mentally and physically. After all these years it has taken on an almost spiritual aspect. Aside from Art, the closest I feel to God is when I run. Each foot fall, every mile down is a celebration of my life and body.

Running is almost as much a part of me as painting. It saddens me to think, as my knees begin to go, that it won’t be long before I won’t be able to run at all. As I segue into the Elliptical machine and biking as replacements, I know that it won’t be the same. There won't be that same rush- that same feeling of exhilaration. I always envisioned myself running with Elly as she got older but the sad realization is that that probably won’t happen. What I’m experiencing now is the undeniable limitations of age and the reinforcement of a lesson that I’ve learned over all these years – time is brutal.

Excerpt from a memoir-in-progress

OBAMA

Let me start this out by stating that I am not a racist. One almost feels compelled to firmly get that point across when admitting that they aren't avid supporters of Barack Obama. And it's not even that I'm not a supporter; as a liberal independent I believe in most of what he stands for and find him to be a compelling, enigmatic and obviously articulate figure who very easily, if elected, could turn out to be one of our greatest Presidents. And, as it stands now, with him on the cusp of securing the Democratic nomination, he is who I will vote for in the general election. I just find it very hard to get aboard the 'Obama Train'. Something about his candidacy leaves me feeling a little uneasy and apprehensive. Admittedly, I feel this way most times when I see large groups of the populace falling for hype, be it real or not, jumping on bandwagons and allowing themselves to believe without questioning or looking beneath the shiny, charismatic facade. Chalk it up to the cynic in me. There's just something about Obama that seems too calculated, almost like he was created by a focus group seeking to make the perfect political candidate. He looks like Malcom X, speaks like Martin Luther and has the Princely air and presence of the young John Kennedy. From his years helping the underprivileged in the mean streets of Chicago to his quick ascension through the ranks of the Senate to the book that's made him famous and even the fiery speech that he gave at the last Democratic Convention, every move has seemed geared towards one goal - the Presidency. And that's fine - as long as the desire to be President is motivated by a love for this country and the want to make it better and is not just about becoming the first 'Black' President or even other motivations that remain only for him and his closest advisors to know.

I also have to admit that the rhetoric coming from the leaders in Obama's Church has bothered me. Are we to believe that somehow, during all the years that he was a member, Obama didn't hear the message of racism and hate that was being preached from that pulpit? Surely this is not a new message coming from these preachers, one of whom, Reverend Wright, Obama has called a 'father-figure'? Sorry, I just find it very hard to dismiss all of that as if it means nothing. It does mean something and it makes me think- it makes me doubt. And there is no denying that Obama's recent resignation from the Church is nothing more than a political move designed to distance himself from those whom he has called friend and who's mission he has been a part of for most of his adult life.

In my 48 years of life, the greatest Presidency that I have known is that of Bill Clinton. Those were great years filled with prosperity, hope and promise. The middle-class truly thrived, our nation was well-regarded throughout most of the world, more jobs and new businesses were created than ever before and the national deficit was erased. It was the last time that it felt 'good' to be an American. The Presidency of George W. has wiped all of that out and there is very little need to talk about what everyone knows. Change is needed. Desperately. While I do hate some of the tactics that the Clinton's have employed to try and get Hillary nominated and conceed that much of her campaign has reeked of desperation, I do believe that she is a strong, tenacious woman, would make a good leader and that her motivations are true. I also find it despicable that much of the misogyny and sexism that has been thrown at her by the media has been virtually ignored. Somehow it's okay to disrespect a woman by calling her names like 'bitch', 'shrieking banshee', and more. Not once have I heard or read of Obama being disparaged in such a way. Is it because he's a man, black, or both? Is there fear in being labeled a racist but none in being revealed a woman-hating sexist? As a matter of fact, I can't recall any instance with any of the past male candidates, white or black, being as verbally abused as Hillary has. What does that say about our country? What does that say to our daughters?

I truly hope that Obama is the saviour that many believe him to be. Like I said before, he'll get my vote in November. Like everyone else, I'm looking for change and another 4 years of Republican rule is not acceptable. I wish that I had the faith that so many others seem to, but there's just something troubling me about his whole deal. Hopefully it's just my own paranoia. Maybe Obama will win the Presidency and usher in a new golden age for America. Or, hopefully not, he'll be the second coming of Jimmy Carter. I can only hope that his lack of experience as a leader doesn't cause him to flounder about for 4 years, making bad decisions and setting us back even further as a nation. Truthfully, all along, I've been hoping that Al Gore would throw his hat in the ring and give them all a run for their money. With that definitely not going to happen, all I can say now is... Vote Obama - he's the only choice!

Danny Federici

What a tragic loss. Danny Federici, 'Danny Phantom', arguably the heart and soul of Bruce Springteen's E-Street Band, has passed. The first member of the greatest rock 'n roll band is also the first to go. And at the young age of 58.
I never knew or even met Danny, of course, but from watching him live on stage and following the band in print and on record over the years, I assumed him to be a quiet and gentle fellow. His organ and accordian filled up the few empty spaces in Bruce's music, adding depth, melancholy, soul or whatever else was needed to an already rich sound. I listened to '4th of July, Asbury Park, (Sandy)' and 'Missing' on the afternoon I learned of Danny's death. These are 2 of Bruce's songs that absolutely benefit from Danny's beautiful organ fills and solos. It's hard to think that '4th of July' could be the classic that it is without Danny's contribution. Thank God we have these and more performances by Danny on record, because without him, I can't imagine any of the songs will ever sound the same again live .

God Bless you Danny and thanks for the music.

I believe (part I)

in the separation of Church and State.
today and since it's inception organized religion has done more harm than good.
in God.
in prayer.
in the spiritual.
anytime man comes together as a group in an organized fashion for whatever reason, trouble will enevitably follow.
in love.
in sex as a spiritual awakening.
the closest mankind gets to God is Art.
parents who allow their children to become obese should be punished by law.
the constitution should be rewritten to reflect the America of today.
there is something mentally wrong with anyone who chooses to hunt animals for sport.
red meat kills.
coffee is good for you. The more the better.

My All-Time Favorite TV Shows

I like 'best of' lists and year end lists- always have. With 2007 now over I've been in the list making mood and so I think I'll start with a list that has nothing to do with the previous year - a top 10 list of my all time favorite TV shows. More lists that actually do have something to do with 2007 will follow, but for now...

I have a real problem with people who say they don't watch or 'like' TV. Personally, I think they are full of it... pseudo-intellectual malarky. Everyone watches TV. While I'm not obsessed with it, and if forced to choose my favorite forms of entertainment, it would easily fall behind books, music and movies, I do like television. As with everything, there is good and bad. With that - here are my all-time top 10 favorite TV shows in order of preference:

1. David Letterman - I started watching him in 1980 when he debuted on NBC and have never stopped. By turns brilliant, cynical, smart and hilarious, Dave is the true heir to Johnny Carson's late night thrown. There are two kinds of people in this world - those who like Leno and those who like Dave. I treat Leno lovers as I do Republicans- I don't associate with them unless I have to. Leno has made a career out of ripping off Dave yet remains a pale and obnoxious imitation.

2. NFL Football - I watched the Washington Redskins while growing up in Northern VA, but lost interest in Football after discovering music and getting into more artistic pursuits. I came back to the NFL when Charlotte acquired The Panthers in 1995 and have been watching ever since. Nothing beats edge-of-your seat excitement like a good Football game. It's the modern equivalent of Gladiators in the arena. It does help to have a home team to root for and a 52" HD TV to watch the games on... GO PANTHERS!

3. 'The Odd Couple' - I loved it as a kid and still do. It made me want to move to New York City. Jack Klugman and Tony Randall were the funniest TV duo ever in my favorite sitcom of all time. Interestingly, I don't care for the original movie that the show was based on with Jack Lemmon and Walter Mathau as Felix and Oscar.

4. 'The Bugs Bunny Road Runner Hour' - Warner Brothers made the best cartoons - sophisticated and witty with the adult viewers in mind as well as the kids. Bugs is my all-time favorite cartoon character. As a Kid, I couldn't wait to get up on Saturday mornings and watch.

5. 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the black and white episodes with Don Knotts as Barney only, of course. Funny, touching and sentimental all at the same time. They still hold up well and even my 5 year old enjoys them. Andy is the perfect father.

6. 'Twin Peaks' - the first season only. What a great, surrealistic, spell-binding story David Lynch crafted envolving the death of Laura Palmer in the fictional town of Twin Peaks. The strangest and most mezmerizing TV show ever and one of the best mystery 'who-done-it's'. "Cherry Pie and Black Coffee" indeed!

7. 'Seinfeld' - Arguably the most original sitcom ever and one of the funniest. It's interesting that none of these actors are really that interesting or funny outside of this show, including Jerry. It was the perfect show for it's time - cynical and unsentimental. 

8. 'The Simpsons' - The longest running half-hour comedy on TV is also the most consistently funny and inventive, animated or otherwise. From Religion to politics to sex, everything gets skewered and nothing is spared. That lovable loser Homer is the best cartoon creation since Bugs Bunny.

9. 'Lost' - Mind-bending, exasperating and thrilling all at once, 'Lost' is the most unique hour-long drama to hit Television in perhaps ever! It's good to know that the creators have the story completely mapped out with an actually date for it all to end because with that fans know that each segment has a purpose in the grand scheme of things -there is no filler, no making-it-up-as-they-go-along, which has been the bane of so many other serial dramas.

10. 'Spongebob Squarepants' - This is on my list for 2 reasons: #1. My 5 year old daughter has loved it since she was 3 years old and we have spent some great times together eating popcorn and laughing our butts off over the surreal adventures of Spongebob, Patrick and the whole gang from 'Bikini Bottom'. Nothing beats the laughter of a child when it is genuine.
#2. It truly is an original cartoon - hilarious and clever with wonderful character development and absurd, witty writing. I thinks that it's the best animated series since 'The Simpsons'.

Runners-up;

'30 Rock' - in just 2 short seasons Tina Fey's 'Mary Tyler Moore Show' for the 21st Century has become the funniest show on TV.
'Sports Night' - Adam Sorkin's talky, kinetic 'dramady' is easily the best show ever about TV Sports broadcasting.
'Twilight Zone' - truly a classic.
'Cheers' - Never missed an episode.
'The Bob Newhart Show' - like comfort food for the soul.
'24' - This show has had it's hit and miss seasons, but when it 'on', it is easily Televisions most exciting hour.

'The Outer Limits' - Edgier and creepier than the 'Twilight Zone'. Great opening credits.

'Everybody Loves Raymond' - Just a funny show with unlikable characters.

NEXT UP: MY FAVORITE MUSIC OF 2007

'A Conversation About War'

I turned 47 on April 3. While not a milestone in terms of Birthdays, every year since turning 40 has left me feeling my age physically more and more. As an avid jogger and weight lifter, this can be hard to accept. Birthday's always leave me feeling a bit introspective and thinking philosophically; about mortality, my family, events in the world and, of course, my art. All of this, combined with the fact that I had just finished reading the wonderful biography, 'deKooning' by Mark Stevens and Annalyn Swan, left me with the desire to create something new and different. I never feel more alive than when I am painting and so I decided to spend my Birthday doing just that in front of a fresh canvas.
'A Conversation About War' began originally as a small, loose pencil sketch. After working on some realistic, heavily detailed paintings, I was interested in delving somewhat into the abstract. I also had the desire to make a statement about the misquided war our country is involved in, which occupies my thoughts quite a bit. With my favorite music continuously blasting from the stereo, I began the actual painting at about 8AM on my Birthday and it was completed by 5PM. I have not had so much fun and felt such exhiliration with any one piece in a long, long time and I am very excited about the final outcome. This is a very different style of painting for me. The canvas is large, measuring 48"x 60" and in addition to the acrylic paint I added some collage elements in the figures from newspaper articles about the war.
Along with my desire to work in a different style, I also wanted to make an overall powerful image that speaks about not only the Iraq War, but all wars. Without over analyzing the painting, the 'Converstation' is between the leaders of two warring countries. Their conversation appears to be without resolve as they babble on, oblivious to the death and carnage taking place around them. I have chosen to give the painting an almost 'pop' art look or video game feel, using symols recognizable in cartoons and comic books. This lends it a more modern feel while also alluding to the disassociation felt by most people not directly experiencing the actual horrors of war. To further enhance my statement I painted a line from a poem I've written about war across the bottom of the piece. The poem is called 'Chaos Troubadour' and the line reads; ' SHOUT at the indignities the transgressions the crimes against God and Earth...'
I feel like I was successful with my goals for this painting. I really don't think that the web image does it justice - it's much stronger in person, with the size and detail more apparent.
If anyone reading wishes to share any thoughts, feedback or criticims, please do so.

On The Road

In celebration of the 50th Anniversary of the publication of Jack Kerouac's 'On The Road', I offer this explanation of why it's my favorite book:
In 1975 I was a sophomore in High School and working part-time in a bowling alley in Falls Church, Virginia. The janitor at the bowling alley was a Vietnam Vet who was well-read, intelligent and prone to philosophizing. He was also mentally and emotionally scarred from his experiences in the war. He knew of my interest in art and poetry and as encouragement presented to me the gift of his own worn and battered paperback copy of 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac. As I'm sure was his intent, this book opened my mind to a whole new way of looking at literature and the world. I'd never read anything like it. Kerouac didn't live or write the same as anyone else. 'On The Road' helped me to realize that there were options in life other than the simple pursuit of a nine-to-five, suit and tie job; it was possible for a person to break out of the box and take a different path. Upon finishing the book I was crazy with desire to escape from the constraints of my middle-class, suburban existence and explore the world but I managed to stick around till my High School graduation. It wasn't long after, though, before I was on my own road seeking adventure and life experiences. For better or worse, no other book has had more of a profound impact on my life.